drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
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