btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Soap is not a condiment
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I love having hate sex.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Randomize
