You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
