there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
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