look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Randomize
