Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
