I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
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