god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Randomize
