Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I'm bleeding and have questions
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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