at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
I want her autograph on my taint
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
A bitchslap is in order.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
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