i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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