I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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