we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
