i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
