I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Randomize
