Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I just had sex on a roof
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
