Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Randomize
