A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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