I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
