We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Randomize
