Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Randomize
