I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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