dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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