haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
That's when you crack a 10am beer
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
two words...techno handjob
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
