The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
I love how my cats smell like pot.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
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