I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Fuck me I smell like cheese
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
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