You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
