This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
