Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
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