So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Randomize
