Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
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