Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
