I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
