About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
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