so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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