Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
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