I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Randomize
