I wanna bring you to show and tell
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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