I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
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