you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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