I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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