Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
