i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
