He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
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