I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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