I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
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