put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
