I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize
