69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Randomize
