Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
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