i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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