It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Randomize
