LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Randomize
