walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
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