And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
