I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
