It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
