I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
