i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
So many bounce houses so little time
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
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