I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
