Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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