I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
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I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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