Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
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