Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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