NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
