Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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