There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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