you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Randomize
